All Saints' Day

So I was going to write about Nicolas Winding Refn's Pusher Trilogy but I am insanely tired, and the AV Club has an excellent article about it anyway. I am the Angel of Death: Pusher 3 is undoubtedly the best, but they're all great. I was hoping to also watch Refn's new Viking film Valhalla Rising but something's up with Cox's On Demand service.

No. Today I will tell you a bit about Troy Duffy's second attempt at a masterpiece, The Boondock Saints II: All Saints' Day. It's a real piece of work. What at first glance is a simple recreation of every memorable scene in the first stupid movie but now with a super hot female FBI agent, quickly reveals itself to be a simple recreation of every memorable scene in the first stupid movie but now with a super hot FBI agent with scary amount of racism, homophobia, and fear of short people. But what's really offensive is just how stupid it is. I mean, holy fucking stupid.

Disclaimer: I was Drinking

The saints and Billy Connolly have fled to Ireland to lead "pure", minimalist lives. But now some short guy is killing people in Boston, using their double gun, penny prayer M.O. to get their attention and bring them back. They come back, inexplicably with a mulletted Clifton Collins, Jr., and they kill more people. Things from the past come back and are meaningful. Yadda yadda yadda it's stupid.

Troy Duffy is truly out to embarrass everyone who's done him a favor. Judd Nelson needs no help embarrassing himself, but Duffy makes him use a ridiculous Sicilian accent. It does no favors. The same goes to Peter Fonda. Julie Benz is magnificently attractive, and the cowboy hat works in her favor, but the on-again/off-again unbelievable Southern accent almost kills the whole movie. Which is already dead. But worst off is Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery, who've not aged wonderfully over these 10 years, as the titular saints. Their performances seem more rote and one note and totally forgettable than the first film, which is saying a lot. A lot.

That's about it. We could get into how Troy Duffy rips off every superior action movie he's ever seen and calls it style, or how the film's plot falls apart and becomes senselessly convoluted in it's back half (or was I finally drunk?), but such things are pointless to discuss and certainly should have been expected anyway.



The good news: (lots of colons today)

Pusher: 8.0/10
With Blood on My Hands: Pusher II: 7.7/10
I am the Angel of Death: Pusher 3: 8.4/10


The best news: (because we all wanted to hate it)

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day: 1.3/10